Stupid Things We Said (Almathera)

D - "Please don't kill me with that thing.."

M - "LEMONS-not a DOS biscuit."

A Customer - "'I think I broke the disk drive when I tried to get the 
    squeak out.'"

Bea - "Sixty Kilos per shipment,"

J - "You haven't the authority to name desks."

J - "It's probably in gerbil hell by now."

J - "Cool, I broke his Brian"(sic)

M - "Ain't that the wisest,"

M - "You couldn't do that before you started parachuting."

M - "You can generate grease, and it makes it go even faster..."

B - "AARGHH!! 60's gone!"

M - "I was thinking upside down..."

J - "The Gold disc will be ready by September sixth."

B - "Handles like a tea trolley, goes like a pig,"

P - "Hello? The knob's come off"

S - "There's nothing as bad as bikers willy."

S - "I was going to let you smell me, but I thought the better of it."

J - "It's in the sand! I'm not helping much, am I?"

D - "He stole a donkey, didn't he?"

J - "He had the day off school, cos his feet are too big."

M - "You put the audio leads in, and nothing comes out."

S - "We're talking iconic representation."

B - "Error occurred while deleting chopper."

S - "He really is the king of whinge."

D - "You have to eat loads of celery for that to happen."

D - "Some squirrels chewed through the cable and set fire to the loft."

B - "Look, you're going to drop one in, in a minute."

S - "I've paid £50 a night before, in Sheffield it's £80 for the whole month!"

J - "Where are we going to find 118Mb at 6.15 in the evening?"

J - "Can you dilute it with Petrol?"

S - "Zappers to 4000's, there's nothing Jolyon can't bust"

M - "Oh look! Mr Deform-ey"

J - "Shush Penfold."

Bea - "Does anyone want a jumping bug? A little green bug with a red head 
    that jumps."

S - "I strive to be as cool as you, Jolyon"

D - "Guess who I saw at the post office, oooooooowooohhh!"

B - "We've got floating point disease in here."

D - "I want to learn how to say 'Excellent' when I burp."

J - "It's got to D and it hasn't crashed yet!"

P - "When they're hot they go all limp. Have you noticed that?"

J - "You get more CPU time free if you turn off the CPU meter."

M - "Squeeze it down the middle, go shwing-ding."

DuranDuran - "Eighty-Nine dead! Eighty-Nine dead!"

J -  "Not even the Bündersbank has one of
   these yet."
 
J - "No I didn't break it. It was doing that before I broke it... Oooops."

M - "Listen. It's full of wangly bits."

J - "Who is Jools Holland anyway?"

S - "No! No! Stop eating my leg!"

M - "You'll wonder why you smell Ammonia on your pillow in the morning..."

M - "I takes 510 seconds for sunlight to reach the Earth from the Sun, 
    and the gestation period of the Rhinocerous is 510 days. You can't
    tell me that's a coincidence."

B - "We could turn France into a fishpond - Cool!"

S - "Don't pick your ears with a screwdriver."

M - "I said it would sink but no-one would listen."

M - "It's MC 900-Foot Jesus!"

B - "Shut up, or I'll spoon you."

Colin@TWG - "Word for Windows on the PC is better than Deluxe Paint on the Amiga."

Weird Man at Junk Shop - "'It all goes in the end, me darling.'"

S - "I think it's because I was chopping onions last night."

S - "Programmers are such c**ts"

S - "Sorry guys, I'm going to go into programming land now."

M - "This CD has motorbikes and fungus on it."

M - "What about a revolving dolphin? Woeee woeee!"

B - "Oh no, my smartie's fragmented!"
 
J - "Go go gadget image..."

J - "It's a yak attack knack."

M - "If you think logically I am the stupidest one around here."

S - "I never get Enforcer hits."
 
D - "I'm sure if Bob was here we could get some out of his fingernails."

M - "Now I know why Jolyon is the clever one, Thanks!"

J - "It grows on you like a malignant tuna"

S - "The toaster just committed suicide - it jumped off the fridge."

M - "Kernighan & Richie? I used to love that programme..."

M - "My toothbrush is six foot long and weighs 300 pounds."

J - "Does anyone want to claim this nose?"

K - "A man's just drove up in a white beard."

M - "Pound for pound, this sandwich is heavier than plutonium."

B - "That's the big bun theory."

D - "It's gone all shiny. It smells a bit, though."

S - "I'm frightened of the toilet, fuuwoosh gurgle gurgle."

M - "So I said, how many fish does it take to eat a cheese-grater then?"

B - "Stop that, it's far to silly..."

B - "The desk was more laid back when it was chillin' in the corner."

M - "It's scientific fact that blonde hair grows faster than any
     other, AND, blonde people are more prone to being bitten by insects,
     now if that ain't a subversive military plot then i'm Nannette Newman."

B - "There's nothing wrong with looking like a chimpanzee."

S - "That's like a Lada with a keyboard, isn't it?"

B - "Even I know that, and I'm shit!"

S - "Why do my hands smell of rubber?"

S - "I was going to sellotape and stick it in, but I couldn't find any
	  sellotape."

M - "OK, so I'm Joanna Lumley. What's the big deal?"

B - "Would it be a quote if I said 'Opus ate my 'c' directory'?"

S - "I'm much taller than Barney [Rubble] euurrr! He's only 5'1! "

B - "But you go brocolleeeeEEEEEEE!"

J - "Your desk looks like one of Kraftwerk's backing singers."

J - "Apparently you can get most of the world if you centre on Belgium."

S - "You can draw some pants on her."

M - "How do I get the gunge of my little wheelies?"

S - "You need some alcohol."

S - "it's a touch screen Budda."

M - "PH-ooo da, la dakka-dakka ffflunng dung."

N - "I'm being a phone. Go away.."

J - "A4000/030 - The Skoda of Amigas."

S - "Some women are allergic to semen."

THP - "well thats what they told you."
   (reply to the above by the pineapple dude) 

S - "I can't smake just yet - I'm still imploding."
 
THP - "There's a spaceship coming out of Grace Jones' mouth!"
   
THP - "Have we got a Lionel Richie File ?"
   
THP - "What's the word for not non-competetive?"
   
K - "I'm going to start swimming when my car comes back."
 
M - "I'm not going to even let you hold it after that incident with   
    the Maltesers."
 
K - "My toad is coatally bollocks."
 
Bea - "17Bit is one of those there hear with those two there, see?"
   
M - "Seb can't play with his balls, he's a vegetarian."
 
D - "I've just tried to edit bendy Babe too."
 
S - "And it works without any changes...."
 
J - "Can I sling you over a disk?"
 
D - "I'd love to go to Colorado, but I can't stand Wales."
 
D - "What kind of bra is that?"
 
M - "It goes droopie in the middle when you get old."
   
J - "No delibarate quoting."
 
M - "Too many chicken flavoured soya pieces in here, for my liking."
 
M - "Oh God I feel an anagram coming on."
 
D - "I got assasinated by a piece of Lego."
 
P - "I thought you disappeared up your own fundimental orifice."
 
Everyone, Regularly - "Shut up Steve"

D - "What time do old people go to bed?"
 
M - "It looks like a game and plays like shit."
 
D - "You can always get at least one bum out of it."

M - "You gotta' be pretty high up to be parachuting for a week."
   
S - "Can you make me a bit less yellow?"

K - "By the time I get to Wolverhampton my feet will be blue."
 
J - "Any Phrase with more than two colours is a word."
 
M - "Can someone take that ham out of my hood, please?"
 
D - "We got a free wardrobe because our surname is Stopani"
 
M - "I can't get Brian's jumper to cycle."
  
K - "Builders on the bus go look at my bricks, look at my bricks, look
    at my bricks."
 
M - "I was all ready to shove a saveloy down the fax."
 

J - "I think it was because I stuck a green pencil in my ear when
    I was younger."
    
M - "I've Got a Mothball and i'm not afraid to share it with everyone."
 
J - "He had the day off school, cos his Trouser are too tight."
   
S - "It tastes like Frish Lemon toilet cleaner."
  
M - "Oh no, my hard-drive is getting a Snapple overload, Melonberry meltdown!"
 
D - "I wonder if there will ever be an alpha channel tunnel?"
 
THP - "At least you can go down on this joypad." 
   
X - "You're probably doing something very stupid.. .  Ouch."
    (Kriss talking to Jolyon just as he walked into a partition)
    
J - "A-ha! This must be one of those 'programming bug' things we've read about." 
 
J - "Or nome-de-pineapple." 
 
E - "Just wait until you become attached to something and I go and hide it."
 
D - "she looks like a militant woman so she must be a lesbian."

THP - "Get rid of her nipples..."

M - "OH Burtie the Bolivian beaver!..."
 
D - "France isn't an island, is it?"

M - "You're so sweaty, you made the ink run."

D - "Doh, my teeth are stuck to my pocket." 

M - "Pixalize the poodle." 
 
J - "I've not implemented my length yet.... You long length."
 
X - "Exactly which part of 'shut up' don't you understand, Steve?"
 
D - "Its the slipper treatment for sod..."
 
D - "Its OK we're too far away from the quotes list for it to count."
 
J - "You can't use LoRes, it's not HiRes enough."
 
THP - "Can you go ramraiding with an Amiga 4000?"
   
THP - "Mmuuurhgggfmmmmgm Mfmmmfmmhhhf Mmmnnnfhgggggfghhh"
   (Steve - when Kriss was preventing him from talking bollocks)
 
X - "What's Steve doing over there? It's taking him years, that's like a whole
    day of his time.."
 
M - "That brown thing shouldnt make that sort of clicking noise when you put
    it in the green sack."

X - "I once got thrown out of a small town in portugal." 

M - "Whats it like on mars?"
   (Mark, to Kriss)

X - "My chair is untied."
   (Kriss)

THP - "Have you seen bottom live yet?"

THP - "Breaking the fridge! Breaking the fridge!" 

D - "It was a stunt chicken."

D - "Hes getting mounted by that bear."

J - "Stick it on your mouse."

THP - "Notice these this and this, now notice, no bits, gone, no bits, sorted."

M - "Dont unzip it. gwaghwagh waghgh."

D - "Have you heard the gateway rap."

M - "This is the one you scanned Dan."

D - "But we can, um, sort it into, um, and just use title, then sort into a
    set of disk changes."

THP - "Its a lot easier to build up momentum with the base of the hand than
    it is with the thumb."
   
M - "It just needs to be shrunk down but you might lose the curvature of it."

M - "I'm getting desperate."

D - "There were loads of dolphins with erections, It was cool!"

K - "Yeah, I've had Dwane Kemp"
 
K - "I'm going to have problems digitizing myself, unless I find a mouse with 
    a very long thingy...."
 
M - "Annica Rice hired many firemen."

M - "They run up to you, stick their little chins on your lap and dribble on you
    so it looks as if you wet yourself."
 
THP - "Did you ever get nine fingers?"
   
K - "Would you like to have a look at my launcher?"
 
D - "If Bob is a hampster then what is a NotBob?"

D - "Thats' chocolate thats made by Bolivian beavers isn't it..."

Jase - "Buy a PC? I'd rather set fire to my head."

E - "You can have the mouse, just don't put it in the freezer."
 
B - "You're goin' to have to vibrate it, to get it to go down at that
    angle." 

Jase - "You keep to your little boys and fat men, I want a horse head in the
    bed..." 

M - "You were going to make something appear from hotrocks, weren't you?"